I sat on my hospital bed (not even discharged since my cancer diagnosis) and I could feel my hair becoming loose at the top of my head. As soon as I felt that loose feeling and started to find little strands of my hair (which lead to clumps) leaving a trail behind my every move, my thoughts quickly turned to question mode. When will it grow back? How long will it take me to grow it to this length again? Will the colour be the same? Will it be as thick? Will it grow back curly? straight? frizzy? .. The worst thought of them all is, will it ever grow back? It might seem like a stupid thought, but it is likely to cross most cancer patients mind at some point. It certainly crossed mine, numerous times. "It may not grow back in rare circumstances" I read online - bad move. Rare circumstances? I was one of those already as it is considered rare to be diagnosis with cancer as a child, teenager or young adult. But there's nothing like thinking negatively is there.
Thankfully, my good old strong and thick hair genes followed through (thank you mum) and my hair came fighting back pretty early on during my treatment. At first, I shaved the silly stubbly bits on top of my head. I then had a change of heart and wanted to see if it would actually grow.. and to my relief, it did! I had a few hiccups along the way, as during delayed intensification, the little hair I had on my head started to thin out. But, as soon as I reached my maintenance treatment I could feel my hair getting thicker by the day and it continues to do so now. It's not going to be the quickest process in the world and perseverance will be needed to get me through the awkward looking stages. It all depends on how your hair grows, and unfortunately for me, the only direction my hair is growing at the moment is UP. There are boys with shorter hair than me and theirs sits neatly on top of their head, nice and flattened down. Me on the other hand struggles to flatten down my hair with the help of hair wax and hairspray. I would say I'm having a similar growing process to when you've had an eyebrow malfunction and you need to grow them out. Your so tempted to tidy up your brows with the tweezers but you cant. Well, at the moment I am so tempted to tidy up around the edges of my hair line.. But I cant if I want the length to be even. Perseverance, my new favourite word that I tell myself everyday as I look in the mirror and sigh.