The greater things in life for us

Cancer comes with a whole bag full of negatives that can weigh you down, so it's difficult to see pass that and allow yourself to open your eyes to the positive things that cancer has to offer. It is hard to believe that there even are positives, but I promise you they are hiding there somewhere. The biggest positive I now see since my cancer diagnosis is realising a huge life lesson; learning not to take things for granted and to appreciate the little things; like a hug from family members or the fact that your living and breathing another day. If your lying in bed.. get up, go out, make the most of the 24 hours you have ahead of you because the hours left in your life is always decreasing, so if your able to do something with your day, do it. 

So, can cancer really be easy? Well no, but there are things that will make your battle with this dreadful disease that little bit easier and may motivate you to keep going. These 'things' I keep mentioning are charities that dedicate their time and efforts in making life easier and more enjoyable for cancer patients. The majority of charities I personally associate myself with are based on my age, eighteen, but if your an older adult, I know there are plenty of charities out there that can help you also such as http://www.shinecancersupport.org/

The most precious gift.. Life

"I need blood". Something you may hear from a vampire if they existed.. Can you tell I've been watching too much of The Vampire Diaries? But in fact, these were the words of me, lying on my landing after collapsing on the wooden floorboards with a huge crash in the middle of the night. I had woken up needing the toilet, barely being able to open my eyes and managed to unsteadily get out of bed. The next thing I re-call is finding it difficult to keep my head up which had suddenly become extremely heavy and keeping myself up right via a wall. "Do you want to go to hospital?". Why would anyone actually want to go to hospital? It is just mostly full of unwanted bad news & experiences. So no Mum, I did not want to go to hospital, especially not at 3.37am. I knew I needed a blood transfusion beforehand, but I was trying to fight against an unwanted hospital visit which was wrong of me. With the help of my Mum, I got my weakened self into bed and went back to sleep to at least attempt to re-fuel my body in preparation for a long day at the hospital the following day.. which was a Sunday. Sunday's are made for pyjama's, chilling, films, roasts (unless your my Mum & hate cooking) and for just being lazy. Sunday's are definitely not made for blood transfusions. 

Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy, Pessimistic Patty & Alex..

Debbie Downer's will always be there to rain on your parade. Negative Nancy's will always find a fault in everything or anything you do. Pessimistic Patty's will never look at the bright side of life. Then there's me.. Alex. I am only associating myself with the negative likes of Debbie, Nancy & Patty as I look back on previous post's and the word 'negative' definitely jumps to mind. Maybe I could be Annoying Alex? Angry Alex?  

Being constantly negative is far from my personality. I absolutely loved the idea of loving and living life to the fullest before I was diagnosed.. now these feelings are only heightened. I was young and all though I hadn't accomplished much with my life.. I had many, many plans. With the threat of my life being taken away from me it quickly made me realise how short life really is and has only encouraged me to pursue my dreams even further and make a career I love, Louboutins or no Louboutins. I have no intentions of not living a long, happy and healthy life. Although this experience has made me question things such as, do I want to bring another life into this cruel world? I would rather take this experience as a more positive learning lesson than a negative bump in the road. I love to focus on the positive's, but I definitely know what it feels like to not see any positives in a life full of chemotherapy, steroids, blood transfusions and hospital's (I'm at it again with the negativity..).

Battling hospital stays

Before my diagnosis, I had only spent one night in a hospital. One night, that's nothing. I was pretty high on morphine so I cant even remember that one night. So, it was a pretty big shock to the system to be spending 2 and a half weeks in a hospital. I must admit, at UCLH all the patients are so spoiled by all the hospital staff including the nurses, cleaners, activity co-ordinators and more. At the time I didn't appreciate what they all did for me to the max because I didn't really know any difference. But wow, the spoiled statement is no exaggeration now I've experienced stays in different hospitals.

For cancer patients if your temperature hits 38, its game over. Your straight to your local hospital to be admitted and hooked up to antibiotics. It is so important to be taken to your local hospital as you don't know what nasty infection or virus could be brewing inside of you. Sadly for me, I am not too keen on my local hospital. Even before I had ever been to UCLH, I still didn't like it. So, whenever my temperature has hit 38 I have cried at the mere fact that I will be spending the next few days or so at a hospital filled of happiness, sunshine, bright coloured walls and surrounded by staff that have smiles from ear to ear.. Ha. Ha. Sarcasm at it's finest.

1st October

I am definitely ready for golden and misty mornings, crisp air, darker and longer evenings and to watch the beauty of nature unravel around me. Personally, this time of year is one of my favourites and also close to my heart as it is breast cancer awareness month. 

Its starting to become almost acceptable to bring out your big winter coats (especially with the great british weather we endure). It will start to become more difficult for cancer patients to find warm clothing that allows their port or pic-line to be easily accessed.. But cosying up by the fire (or a radiator will do) with a warm drink after a long day of treatment will make it better - apologies for being so damn cliché. If someone is feeling too rough to go out after their treatment they won't feel so left out at this time of year due to a large percentage of brits choosing to spend their weekends indoors in favour for tv shows like the x-factor and strictly come dancing. 

I haven't even mentioned the best bit.. Halloween. You'll have a good 31 days to decide on your chosen fancy dress outfit, preferably something a little more outside of the box and avoiding the obvious witch, devil or sexy cat idea. As a child I was not allowed to trick or treat as my mum didnt believe in the silly American tradition, but as I've grown older I have become to quite childishly love this day that comes around once a year! (Sorry mum). So, Hello October.